posted at 6:31 p.m. on Thursday, May. 11, 2006

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I'm so down, I don't know what to do. I almost wanted to talk to a counselor here on campus but I've done that before. Sometimes they can be comforting but they never seem to be able to give me answers I need.

I tried to call my mom just now...said blatantly that I've been mopey and am really kind of depressed lately but I got a 'Can I call you later?', with me assuming she's watching a TV show or some crap. I don't have friends here that I'm comfortable with talking to about this because they might take it the wrong way and think it's their fault. Or tell me to 'get over it', whatever 'it' is. I don't even know what it is.

If I were braver I would probably lash out more instead of putting on this fake smile. It's shit.

I'm not doing well.